Being that I am 16 weeks pregnant right now, I can personally vouch for all of the below being 100% valid and true. Ladies…share this with every man you know on behalf of every woman out there! Ha
1. Invite people to rub your partner’s belly.
It’s your partner’s belly, so she alone gets to decide who (if anyone) rubs it. If you want to win points, though, you can run interference on randos who try to put their mitts all over her baby bump.
2. Pretend to want to name the baby something ridiculous.
Your partner might smirk the first time you suggest “Flavor Flav,” but keep it up and you’ll send the message that you’re not taking the pregnancy seriously.
3. Make major baby decisions all by yourself.
Surprising your partner by painting the baby room your favorite shade of green while she’s out of town may seem like a good idea, but it’s not. You and your partner are going to raise the baby together, so you should make major decisions about the baby during the pregnancy together, too.
4. Invite your mom over to give pregnancy and parenting advice to your partner.
It’s cool to ask your mom to give you advice, but you’d be wise to let your partner seek out her own advisors. Have you never heard about mothers-in-law?
5. Take your partner to a sushi restaurant and do sake bombs.
She may be chill about what you eat and drink during her pregnancy, but that doesn’t mean you should rub it in her face.
6. Be demanding about smexy time.
Many women aren’t in the mood for sex during pregnancy (or don’t feel physically up to it), so instead of pressuring her, follow her lead.
7. Imitate your partner.
It’s good to laugh together during a pregnancy, but making fun of your partner (even good-naturedly) might not go over as well as you think.
8. Make plans for right after the baby is born.
You and your partner are going to be very busy after the baby arrives (not to mention exhausted), so it’s not a good time to plan a trip to Coachella with your buds. There will be time for fun later, but in the beginning you need to be 100% about your baby.
9. Take food away from your partner.
Never come between a pregnant women and her food. That is all.
10. Obsess over your personal fitness.
Your partner may be having trouble accepting her changing body (especially pregnancy-related weight gain), so the last thing she needs is to listen to you moan about missing a workout or gaining an ounce or two.
11. Wear too much perfume/cologne…or just plain stink.
Pregnant women have a heightened sense of smell, so it’s a good idea to lay off the body spray and take a shower when you need one.
12. Be super messy.
Your partner may not feel up to doing her share of the household chores when pregnant, so you’d be wise to make an extra effort to be tidy around the home.
13. Give your partner a post-pregnancy workout DVD.
You may mean well, but unless you want to send the message that you care more about what your partner’s post-baby body will look like than the baby, this is a no-no.
14. Obsess over a pre-baby bucket list.
Doing a few things you might not be able to after the baby arrives is fun, but desperately trying to cram in a lifetime’s worth of activities makes it seem like you’re not ready for the next stage of your life.
15. Stay out late (a lot) with your friends.
You don’t have to spend 24 hours a day tethered to your partner, but she’s going to need more help than usual during her pregnancy, and may even need you to take her on an emergency trip to the hospital.
16. Keep saying how cool it would be for your partner to be a pregnant zombie for Halloween.
If she isn’t wild about the idea initially, it’s unlikely that she’ll change her mind just because you keep bringing it up. Let the zombie dream go.
17. Refuse to read “the books.”
A huge reason to read the books is because they have a lot of terrific information in them, but you should also read them to show your partner that you care about the kind of parent you’re going to be.
18. Drive recklessly.
It won’t be long until your baby’s life is in your hands when you drive, so now is the time to cut out bad habits and focus on being a responsible driver.
19. Comment on your partner’s physical change.
Marveling at the beauty of pregnancy is fine, obviously, but saying, “Damn! You sure it’s not twins?” or making beeping sounds when she backs up, is a really, really bad idea.