Deprecated: The each() function is deprecated. This message will be suppressed on further calls in /var/www/htdocs/wp-content/plugins/js_composer/include/classes/core/class-vc-mapper.php on line 111
Battle Wounds: Don't Allow Them to Define You! Sincerely, a Former Adulteress - The Snap Mom

Battle Wounds: Don’t Allow Them to Define You! Sincerely, a Former Adulteress

This is a great reminder to continue to pursue healing…every day.

by Kara Birkey | staff writer for The Snap Mom

Battling the temptation to allow our wounds to define us…

Battle wounds.  We all have them.  Some more than others, some minor, some major.  My stomach ismarked up by what I proudly call “battle wounds” from pregnancy. I was only 20 years old and just 9 months married when I received these beauties.  Even wounds such as these have the ability to define us as ugly, undesirable, unattractive etc.

But not all wounds are obvious. Some are written on hearts instead of skin.

  • Betrayal
  • Abuse
  • Hurtful names
  • Poor health
  • Our bad choices and mistakes

All of these things hide underneath masks we press against our faces.

For me, my most stand out wound was self-inflicted.  Early on in my marriage, I had an affair.  If you have not read my blogpost “Through the Eyes of an Adulteress,” you can do so HERE.  My choice obviously wounded my husband and numerous people around us, but it also wounded me.  The potential here was for my wound to define me.  But because of an incredible amount of grace, forgiveness, and self-forgiveness it didn’t.  It took some time, but I realized I didn’t have to be Kara the adulteress.

What are your wounds? Have you:

  • Been abused and been defined as a victim?
  • Betrayed and been defined as unlovable?
  • Had health issues and been defined as broken?

Sometimes we have been defined in these ways by others, but many times it’s a lie that we ourselves chose to believe.  We must be able to distinguish the difference between things that have been done to us/happened to us or poor choices we have made and who we are.  These things, these wounds should not define us.

It’s time to take off the mask.  A passion of my heart is transparency.  I wore a mask and pretended everything was perfectly peachy for far too long.  Once I got a taste of the freedom that comes with transparency, the idea of putting it back on makes me sick.

Are you doing something to seek healing from your wounds or are you repeatedly picking the scab off?  Has your wound become a painless scar or is it infected and spreading to those around you?  Have you learned from the pain you experienced and are moving forward or has the wound defined who you are?

I in no way desire to minimize the pain of deep and tragic wounds in people’s lives.  It is my desire to see people move forward in healing and wholeness as the person God created them to be.  Recognize your wounds, expose them, and pursue healing!



About the writer:


Jesse and Kara live in Tampa Bay, Florida with their two amazing kids. Jesse is a Firefighter/Paramedic and author while Kara is a part time Assistant and full time Wife and Mommy. They are both passionate about marriage and family and helping others succeed where they’ve failed.