Breastfeeding Is NOT For Me… -Whitney J

 

My sweet Rennie getting some fresh milk! :)

My sweet Rennie getting some fresh milk! 🙂

{this next blog is kind of personal. Part truth, part rambling}

Breastfeeding Is NOT For Me…

I used to tell that to people because it didn’t work out with my first and second child, and I had no clue why (until I learned about lip and tongue ties). I also told people that formula feeding fit our on-the-go lifestyle and that it didn’t bother me that I couldn’t breastfeed. But guess what…it has always bothered me. I have cried many times about it. I even wrote an article about how great formula feeding is, partially to make myself feel better. Honestly, a part of me dreaded the fact that I was going to have a third child and possibly be faced with failing again.

Yes, people say, “You didn’t fail. You did the best you could,” but that didn’t make me feel any better.  Knowing that breastmilk is best for my child and not being able to give it to them will always feel like a failure to me. (Sidenote: for all the moms who are in the same boat as me, I OBVIOUSLY judge not.)

THEN my rainbow baby was born. (3 months ago)

I was determined to breastfeed him successfully. Well, I hemorrhaged after his birth and was given a drug that delays your milk from coming in. Awesome, here we go AGAIN…I thought. Well sure enough, it took 6 WHOLE DAYS for my milk to come in, but I powered through and nursed around the clock. Literally. I cried when I felt my first let-down! Small successes!

Then, come to find out, he had a lip AND tongue tie that was causing pain for me, BUT I knew exactly what to do this time!  We got him revised, and here we are, going strong! Breastfeeding means the world to me. It draws me closer to my son, and it empowers me to talk about how badly it hurt NOT to have been able to breastfeed my first two for very long.

Why am I rambling about this? I want you to know that breastfeeding is amazing. I want you to know that formula feeding is amazing. I have been through a lot as a mom: losing 2 babies and many other successes and failures. Having been through all that I have, it really hit me this week. As I was staring into the eyes of my rainbow baby, I realized I feel really healed. Really whole. And really excited about life with 3 kids. Oh, how much motherhood has taught me and will continue to teach me! I’m letting go of my plan. My new plan: be the best mom I can be.

If you are reading this and feeling down on yourself as a mom, please know you are changing the world by loving on your kids. What you are doing every day IS important. Every diaper change, every feeding, every failed and horrific outing with your toddlers…it’s all worth it. Enjoy every moment. The days are long, but the years are truly short…

Until next time…

-Whitney J | Co-founder | Co-director |Co-owner of The Snap Mom

 

My little man getting revised...

My little man getting revised…