Nikki is so spot on here! Being a SAHM (stay at home mom) is a tough and lonely job at times.
by Nikki Pennington | staff writer for The Snap Mom
Dear Lonely Mom,
I know your story all too well. Maybe you attended college, had children, and now you spend your days at home wondering if you will ever have adult conversation again. You wonder if your life will always consist of gibberish, dirty diapers, potty training, and endless laundry.
When it weighs heavy on you, you feel nobody really understands what you do every single day or they don’t appreciate it. This job doesn’t let you climb the ladder or take you out to lunch because you met your goals for that week. You feel isolated from the world, your friends with careers; they seem to have it made: lavish trips, lots of friends, nice clothes not stained with puke or poop, and all smiles in their pictures. All people can see in your pictures is unwashed hair, tired eyes, a forced smile, and the same clothes you wore last week. You try to get out of the house, but there are days it’s more trouble than it’s worth. By the time you make it to the door for the play date, someone needs to go to the bathroom, someone already went to the bathroom, and someone is screaming. You wonder if your friends that are not moms even see you as a friend or person any longer, or if you are just the friend that stays at home.
Lonely mom, if I could sit down and share a cup of coffee with you, I would share a few things with you. Mom to mom, friend to friend, from someone who has been in your shoes. Being a stay-at-home mom is not for the faint of heart. It is the toughest and loneliest job at times I have ever had, and I chose it! I still choose it every single day. Sure, I could be social butterfly, I could have fancy clothes, go on nice trips, and even drive a fancy two door car. I could be at a job that appreciates me and notices everything I do. I’ve been in that job, and I’ve lived that life. That job and those things were not nearly as rewarding as this job is of being a stay-at-home mom.
I share with you that the days of diapers will end, the evenings of not being able to make it to a play date because of the puke or meltdowns will all be over soon. There will be the days where you will have friends again, you will want to invite them over to your house for coffee because it’s not covered in laundry, toys, and dirty diapers. This, like everything else in life, is a season, and a very short one at that.
The days are so very long, but the years my sweet friend, are very short. I had my days of feeling lonely, left out, and unappreciated. Now, I look at my boys, and the appreciation is in the hugs and kisses; it’s in the flowers that are picked for me. My goals are no longer reports and paperwork but seeing them open the doors for me and strangers, or saying “please” and “thank you.” Then I realized, I am not alone at all, I have these amazing little people here with me that want and need me there with them. One day you will look back and you will miss all of this, you will be willing to give up anything and everything to go back to these times.
Lonely mom, you are not alone. There are plenty of us out there that have given up careers, college educations, and everything we once saw for our futures because we realized that there was a little person whose development and future was worth giving it all up for.
A mom that has been lonely before too
About the author:
Nikki is a stay at home mom to three high spirited boys. Three years ago she became a motherless daughter after losing her own mom to terminal brain cancer. When she is not playing the role of referee for the boys, she spends her days trying to encourage and inspire others that are on the grief journey.