Herly merly! Thank you, Aubrey for writing this! Enough is enough. Words DO have power…even on the “Internets”, as my dear Uncle LEE, calls it.
by Aubrey Rissler | staff writer for The Snap Mom
The online world is a weird one where we can solicit our advice from the comfort of knowing that no one can really see us. The level of anonymity rises, and we feel somewhat hidden, uncatchable, and untraceable. Oh sure, others can argue against our point, but if they can’t touch us then they can’t really hurt us. Or can they?
The arguing online happens on any forum and in almost every social networking platform, but we do our best to raise the level of community within The Snap Mom to a positive and informative experience where mothers can come and feel comfortable. Even though we have the space and freedom of not meeting people eye-to-eye as we type out our opinions, it still deeply affects each one of us when we feel personally attacked, insulted, or questioned. As mothers, our emotions are always buzzing on high because the decisions we make for our families are important and personal. Here’s some thoughts regarding controversial topics that we all have questions about:
Relinquish and Enjoy
I didn’t actually come up with that one, Ghandi did. A reporter asked him to describe his philosophy in 25 words or less, and Ghandi told the reporter he could sum it up in three. Relinquish and enjoy means that you can offer your position, information, understanding, and the very best of what you know and then become unattached to the result. Let go of whether or not the next person chooses to accept your parenting philosophy. If you have offered it to the world in a non-aggressive way, then that’s the best that you can do right now.
One of the greatest things about online is the immediacy of returning information. However, at times we can be a little too rushed and not realize how our words sound until they’re out on the board. Take a moment, reread your statement and ask yourself: does this come across as snarky? sarcastic? harsh? If so, then reword it. We are here to build each other up.
Sometimes the advice that we get completely conflicts with our own beliefs. Vaccinations, anyone? Before we jump into defending ourself, let’s take a second to understand the thought behind where the opposing information is coming from and why it’s being offered. When mothers share what works for them, it comes from a desire to protect. Take an extra minute to ask yourself if you’re being defensive in order to be “right,” or if you truly do feel informed that you’re making the best decision.
If you are the person who cannot stop themselves from debating in a way that taunts or bullies others into silence, then take a look within yourself. What does it say about you when you’re busy spending your time knocking others down in order to promote your own agenda? What’s going on internally when we spew hate and insults at each other? What kind of energy, spirit, or whatever else are we sending into the world? Are we turning the emotional tide of motherhood toward helping one another? There’s a lot of work for all of us to do inside. It matters that we can have mature conversations without feeling the need to silence one another.
…the goal at The Snap Mom is to create an informative and helpful community where we can share ideas and learn from one another. People don’t learn new things in an unsafe environment. It benefits us ALL to be gracious and listen to others. Simply put, don’t be a troll.
About the author:
Aubrey Rissler is a part-time writer and full-time nanny. She graduated from the University of South Florida with a magazine journalism degree. Aubrey is passionate about travel, health, and yoga. Follow her on Instagram: @srqyoga