Four Mistakes You Probably Made as a Newlywed

So true! Omg…pretty sure my husband and I made #2 and #3! What about you?


by Christina Soderberg | staff writer for The Snap Mom

The wedding is over; you’re back from the honeymoon. All of the gifts are unpacked, and your home is semi put-together. Life is good! You get right back into working everyday, and think nothing will really change except now you get to walk through life with your best friend by your side. All of the advice and premarital counseling you went through prepared you for the best marriage ever!

Reality hits, and you realize this thing called marriage is hard work. {But it is so worth it!} Avoiding these four mistakes will help you get through those first couple of years with less stress while helping to build a solid foundation for your marriage.

If you have already made these mistakes, it’s okay! Fix them!

1. Newly Married = Buying New Things

You just move in to the neighborhood/ apartment complex, and there is a knock at your door. It is the Kirby Salesman offering to clean your carpets/floors for free and show you how great the Kirby is. How in the world they know you just recently moved in and need a vacuum is a mystery. But what a great deal! A free cleaning. Two hours later, you look at your spouse and realize you just bought an $1,800 vacuum on a payment plan.

What just happened? Although the Kirby is amazing and will last for years – it is still not worth the payment plan. Wait until you have the funds to pay it! You will survive and your carpets will get cleaned with your current vacuum or the one you buy for a much cheaper price.

It is exciting to be newly married, to make a house a home, and fairly easy in our culture to go out and finance the new things you “need” for your home. Waiting until you can purchase it without a payment plan is so worth it! It’s also fun to become a savvy shopper.

2. Winging The Budget – Budget?

What budget? Before marriage, you may have followed a budget…or you may have just paid your monthly bills and didn’t keep track of where your money was spent. As newlyweds, you now have your current bills, your spouse’s current bills, and new joint bills. You both have different areas you are used to spending money. Let’s be frank, discussing finances is HARD WORK. Looking at your finances is HARD WORK. Deciding where you want your money to go is HARD WORK. BUT if you establish a budget, it will help you so much in the future! When incomes fluctuate, circumstances change, or children come, you are more readily able to adjust your budget and work through those changes with a less stress.

3. Dropping Date Nights

This may sound funny, but now that you are married it is even more important to keep dating! One of the best pieces of advice we received after getting married was to establish regular date nights from the start. You do not have to spend a ton of money to go on a date, just block out that time! Easy, cheap things to do: grab coffee/tea and go for a walk, listen to a favorite local band, explore different area attractions (a lot of times they are free), grab an appetizer at a favorite or new restaurant, movie night in with no technology, attend an area sporting event. There are many creative ways to make date nights happen.

Getting in the habit of blocking out time for a date night each week will help keep you connected. Life gets busy with work, activities, and once you have kids – it gets even busier with added exhaustion into the mix. Finding creative ways to continue your date nights after children is an article in itself ☺

Don’t drop the date nights, instead establish a weekly date night.

4. Not Feeling The Love

Of course you love your spouse! Of course you are thankful for them! Once you get married, a lot of the ways you showed love while dating become lax. All of a sudden, the ways that you receive love are not there as often. Typically, when you are dating/engaged/newly-married, you are experiencing the “honeymoon” or euphoric love. Once married, that wears off, and you begin to see many differences between you and your spouse. Conflicts occur, and you begin to not feel loved by your spouse. You tend to show love according to your preferences, which may not be how your spouse receives love. …

5 love lan

PURCHASE

Have you heard of the Five Love Languages? There is a great book called “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, and it is awesome!

The book explains that love is shown and received five different ways. If you have not read it, check it out. It will help you learn how you and your spouse show love versus receive love.

Congratulations to the newlyweds! And the future newlyweds! And those who are past the newlywed stage can use these as reminders. Marriage is HARD WORK, but it is also a BLESSING!


christina

 

 

Christina loves to sing, write, worship and live life to the fullest. She is a writer for TheSnapMom.com and CEO of the home;) She has an amazing husband and two sweet littles who stole her heart. Read more from Christina here