“Friendship is born at that moment when one says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .’”
― C.S. Lewis
So, you guys would probably be surprised to know that Krystle K and I don’t always get along. Normally, in natural friend pairing, you will have one dominant and one more chill, but not in our case! We are both very opinionated and strong-willed. We are not just friends, but we are also business/blog partners! We run thesnapmom.com, The Snap Mom Community Group on facebook, The Snap Mom Fan Page, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram accounts! We have to make a million different decisions together; all the while, maintaining the peace and harmony. What makes our friendship so great though, is that we are excellent communicators! We will spend the time to hash things out completely. (Even if it takes a few hours…we do it!)
The first week that we launched The Snap Mom, I remember telling Krystle that we had to really try to maintain our relationship above all else, because if we go down…the whole ship sinks. Haha! (Pretty dramatic, but true.)
So how do we maintain a healthy friendship? I thought you would never ask…
Learn one another
As human beings, we want to be understood. We want people to know what makes us tick. Why we think the way we do, act the way we do, etc. When Krystle and I are spending time together, we will often ask each other “Tell me a story about you.” We love to continue getting to know one another.
So remember to keep learning your friends, and hopefully they will reciprocate because we have all had “those friends” who want to talk and talk and talk about themselves but don’t take the time to listen.
Be honest, but wait until you cool down
Being honest with our feelings is so very crucial because if you start stuffing things down, you will begin to feel resentful. If your friend hurts your feelings, it’s healthy to address the issue. Krystle and I are very quick to apologize and make things right when we are in the wrong!
I’ll let you in on a little secret…both Krystle and I are extremely driven, passionate people, which can (and does) lead to some ISSUES! We learned very early on what each other’s hot buttons are so we work to avoid pushing them! One thing that we practice is waiting and sitting on a feeling for a while, allowing ourselves to calm down before addressing an issue. It’s all in the delivery. You can be right and wrong all at the same time if you don’t take the time to word things in a constructive manner.
Be a safe place…(don’t spill the beans)
Trust and safety are very important to develop in any friendship. We need to know that we are safe to be ourselves and aren’t going to be judged or outed for doing so.
Krystle and I trust one another, and we really work hard to protect one another and that trust. I know if I tell her something, that she isn’t spreading it to all of her other friends and vice versa.
Iron Sharpens Iron
“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”
Krystle and I sharpen each other pretty often. We lovingly challenge one another to be better and to do better. This doesn’t always translate to the easiest of conversations, but it is worth it to us to take the time to sharpen each other.
True story, I embarrass Krystle a lot. I don’t know if it’s because she is European and I am Canadian, but the things that she thinks will offend people are so different from what I think! We were recently on a business trip and I saw Krystle’s face turn red several times because of my actions and conversations with people! SOOOOO we came up with a key “shut your mouth, you are embarrassing me, Whitney” code phrase, but…as I sit here writing this blog, I cannot for the life of me remember what it was…oh well. 😉
It is SO crucial that we remain humble and always put each other’s feelings ahead of our own! We definitely don’t always get this right…
Krystle and I recently fought about something so stupid…what decade the first hippies were from.
I said it was a 70’s thing and Krystle said it was a 60’s thing. We tried and succeeded in proving our points using google. (Because we all know that you can use the internet to prove any point – even opposing points! haha) This is when our husbands stepped in…
I’ll set the scene…we were in in Chick-fil-a, with our husbands and all four children were playing in the play area. We tell our husbands about our disagreement, and my husband, who is a walking encyclopedia says, “Okay Krystle, are you willing to hear the truth?” I chime in, “Yeah Krystle, are you ready for this? Put on your listening ears!”
Rei then says “The Hippies are from the 60’s…Krystle is correct”. WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Welp…I was wrong about that one thing. 😉 In that moment, I have to say, Krystle was not very humble as she shouted “Ha…I knew it!”
We are still working through this one. 😉
“Surround yourself with people who know your worth. You don’t need too many people to be happy, just a few real ones who appreciate you for exactly who you are.” ~UNKNOWN
UNKNOWN is so smart, right? 😉 But truly, surround yourself with the right friends who love you and know your worth.
We truly value our friendship and hope that this gives you a few tools that can help you in your own friendships. Feel free to comment below with your favorite friendship tips!