To The Mother Who’s Lost Her Joy,

Such a terrific reminder! Some days you have to just let loose and be wild with your kids!


 by Nikki Pennington | staff writer for The Snap Mom

To The Mother Who’s Lost Her Joy,

I see you over there; you just came home from a play date. Your friend’s house was spotless; her kids were free of dirt and mud. They had manners and didn’t yell “poop” randomly; they actually sat still for more than five minutes. That friend, not only was her house nice, it was new. No signs of wear and her furniture didn’t show a day of being jumped on and off of. For lunch she offered you guys an organic meal that she whipped up. You think, I can barely find time to shower much less fix anything more than frozen chicken nuggets in the oven. You notice all her pictures in the house of Disney trips, cruises with the family and kids, nice long vacations. You think how you can barely get yourself out of the house some days because someone can’t find a shoe, someone pukes or someone needs to go to the bathroom for the twentieth time in five minutes. You go to leave and realize she is also driving a brand new SUV; my goodness, she has the life you want.

You hurry home only to have a car ride of screaming children, still yelling and kicking your seat. You walk into your house only to be greeted by piled up laundry right in the living room, dishes in the sink and realize you haven’t vacuumed in days. Then it hits you; you don’t go to all the play dates like all the other moms. You don’t have a spotless house. You don’t have kids that act “right” all the time and you don’t have a fancy SUV. Your house isn’t new; in fact it’s really old and really small. It has toys strung across every corner of the house from the minute you step inside the door. Your blinds are ripped apart from little hands that want to watch the garbage man or the mail man pull up.

You lose it; you lost your perspective in one Facebook sitting or play date from looking at other mothers’ lives.

You see, I know you all too well because that mother was me. I lost my perspective; I tried too hard to keep up with the others. I spent too much time worrying about the lives of other mothers on Facebook and at play dates and I lost perspective. Sweet friend, I’m here to tell you that if you have lost your joy in motherhood, you can get it back! For me, I had a wake-up call that shook my world. I realized that my journey in motherhood is different from that of everyone else.

This quote from Theodore Roosevelt sums it up perfectly:

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Can I share with you what I did to change my entire perspective in one day? I woke up; let the boys take a bubble bath with so many bubbles they could barely see their toes. We had graham crackers and chocolate milk for breakfast and ice cream for lunch. We went outside and played in the kiddie pool – I even let them keep the hose on the entire time, caring less if it flooded the yard a bit or got me wet. In fact, I jumped in that pool with them, not caring about my hair. We snuggled on the couch, watched movies together and we stayed up past bedtime. They chased each other down the halls, screaming at the top of their lungs. That day I did not stop them, I did not tell them to “please calm down” or “please stop running.” Why you ask? Life is short.

I might not have the fancy new house, the brand new SUV, the magical vacations, the children that don’t run wild or the organic blog-worthy meals. My house is a mess, but it’s filled with love, hugs and sometimes runny-nose kisses. I don’t have much in regards to material things, but I have a lot when it comes to joy. You see mom that has lost her perspective, it’s not about seeing what you don’t have, it’s about seeing all the amazing things you do have that not everyone has.

So, go have ice cream for breakfast, get soaked by the water hose, run the halls screaming with laughter and kiss and hug those babies extra tight knowing that you might have lost your perspective, but you gained a new and better one.

Sincerely,

A mother that had lost her joy


 About the author:

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Nikki is a stay at home mom to three high spirited boys. Three years ago she became a motherless daughter after losing her own mom to terminal brain cancer. When she is not playing the role of referee for the boys, she spends her days trying to encourage and inspire others that are on the grief journey.