Time to get real and share about “the other side”. We all know Facebook is NOT real life.
We all have mom friends on Facebook that look amazing. The makeup is on point, hair looks as though they just walked out of a salon, skin is glowing, outfit is neatly ironed and matching. They get dressed up for fancy events, cook the 200 ingredient meals. The children all match, they appear to behave and smile for the camera… basically, everything looks great on the Facebook side of motherhood.
Let me bring you over to the other side of motherhood, the real side when the pictures are not being Facebook posed.
Yesterday, I went and met with a friend to give her a few items for a trip. I will be honest, she caught me off guard and offered to come over to my house to pick up the items. Noooooo…..this cannot happen. I immediately offered to meet up with her later on. Why? It’s because of the other side of motherhood, the one we don’t talk about. It’s the laundry that made it from the dryer to your living room floor or couch. It’s the dishes that you swore you would do first thing in the morning, which turned into naptime, then you swore you would do them after the kids were in bed. It’s the toys that are strategically placed all throughout your house by the toddlers.
I quickly got the kids together and ran out the door to meet my friend. In my hurried attempt to not have her see my mess of a house, I forgot about myself. Before pulling into the parking lot that’s when I realized I had in fact not taken a shower in two whole days, my hair was a complete grease ball, I had on zero makeup and my face was broken out. My clothes were wrinkled from being pulled out of the laundry pile on the couch and then I realized I had on one brown flip flop and one black flip flop. Lovely.
I pulled up next to her and rolled down my window, and without missing a beat, two of my three boys began yelling out random things which they found hilarious to get my friends attention. Let’s see, one word was “poop” over and over in his loudest outside voice. The other screamed “I need to go pee, NOW!” And then with all the commotion, my youngest began to cry. I had not even said a word to my friend out the window yet. I honestly could have sunk into my seat, rolled up the window and drove off from my friend. That’s when it hit me – she’s not only my friend, but she’s a fellow mom. Why am I so embarrassed about this side of motherhood with her??
That’s when I blurted out “This is my life, right here.” I said “My hair is greasy, I have on no makeup, not showered, clothes are wrinkled and I’m pretty sure I wore this top to the grocery store yesterday. I reek of baby spit up, but I knew you needed me… so I showed up, just like this.” She paused and laughed. It was at that point that we discussed how nice it felt to be real and honest with each other about the “other side” of motherhood.
Find mom friends that don’t care when your house is a mess or when you look a mess. Find the mom friends that overlook the smell of spit up on your clothes and ignore the fact that you wore that same outfit to the playdate last week. You see, how you look (or smell) does not indicate what kind of mother or friend you are. There will be plenty of time for dressing up, long showers, shaved legs and salon hair when the children are grown.
About the author:
Nikki is a stay at home mom to three high spirited boys. Three years ago she became a motherless daughter after losing her own mom to terminal brain cancer. When she is not playing the role of referee for the boys, she spends her days trying to encourage and inspire others that are on the grief journey.