Why I’m Still On Facebook

Amen! Haters gon’ hate, but I love Facebook!

By  | Originally published on Huffingtonpost.com

Yes, Facebook has its haters. Got that. Teens and Millennials have all but abandoned Zuckerberg’s social project for the shiny new Snapchats and Instagrams of the world.

But let’s be honest… some of us are still on it. You’re probably even reading this right now on your news feed, right? It’s the guilty pleasure that we love to hate.

For that reason, here are the top 10 (or so) reasons why moms like us (30-something-working-or-stay-at-home-moms-same-difference) are still on Facebook.

  • We’re suckers for kids and cute animals. We over-share photos of our kids. (Before having kids we even posted photos of our pets dressed up for Halloween… I mean, a DOG. DRESSED. AS. A. BUMBLE BEE. Hilarious.)
  • Facebook reminds us to do stuff. Like Vote. The “I voted” reminder flooded our news feeds (as do political rants from the random “friend”… but we digress).
  • It reminds us of everyone’s birthday… (Side note: isn’t it funny when people who are NEVER on Facebook suddenly log in to thank their “closest” friends for all the birthday wishes? Annually. Like clockwork. Yep, we’re looking at you. No judging, though… It’s all good. See you again next year!)
  • For that reason, here are the top 10 (or so) reasons why moms like us (30-something-working-or-stay-at-home-moms-same-difference) are still on Facebook.
    • We’re suckers for kids and cute animals. We over-share photos of our kids. (Before having kids we even posted photos of our pets dressed up for Halloween… I mean, a DOG. DRESSED. AS. A. BUMBLE BEE. Hilarious.)
    • Facebook reminds us to do stuff. Like Vote. The “I voted” reminder flooded our news feeds (as do political rants from the random “friend”… but we digress).
    • It reminds us of everyone’s birthday… (Side note: isn’t it funny when people who are NEVER on Facebook suddenly log in to thank their “closest” friends for all the birthday wishes? Annually. Like clockwork. Yep, we’re looking at you. No judging, though… It’s all good. See you again next year!)
  • Once in a blue moon Facebook makes us feel like we have a pretty exciting life! Should the occasion pop up and we get to forgo our parenting duties to have a Girls Night Out — we promptly “check in” to that swanky happy hour spot. Sure, we’re only there for 1-2 drinks, and yes, it will result in sluggishness the next day… but we were therrrrrreeee (and it was documented). For the win!
  • It keeps us connected to friends and family that live far away. ‘Nuff said.
  • It’s how we learn about breaking news. (Admit it, for some of us it’s theonly place we get our news… yikes.)
  • And it’s definitely how we catch up on our trashy news. Sometimes you just can’t finish the latest Kardashian story in US Weekly before that darn conveyer belt at the grocery story reaches the cash register. (Ugh!) Never fear… instead of forking over $4.99, just log into Facebook to see who Khloe’s real father is or who Kim is now married to (oops, too soon?)
  • We get to see all of our “friends” going on fabulous tropical vacations (oh wait, that one kind of stinks).
  • We stay current on our friends’ relationship statuses. One quick review of any status change and we know what we’re up against before calling (read: texting) our girl friends to see how they are doing.
  • We can bookmark the newest “to-die-for” recipe that sounds simply delicious. And while we will likely never make said recipe, we acknowledge that the picture did look very enticing. It must’ve been posted via Instagram. (Darn millennial.)

And finally…

  • You can plan your entire high school reunion on Facebook. We’re all on there anyway… we know we’ve all gained a few pounds, lost some hair, had kids, gotten (re-) married, etc. So let’s just cut to the chase and coordinate all of the details in one place. Seriously, save the postage and envelopes and fund an open bar instead. Yeah!

Are you still on Facebook? What do you love or hate about it?
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Jennie is not affiliated with Facebook in any way, shape or form. Just a fan. (For now, at least…ask her again when they roll out another policy / privacy change!) For more satire, follow Jennie on Twitter @Jenniesuth. Thanks to my brother Mike (@mikemudrey) for allowing me to post an embarrassing photo!